Monday, June 23, 2014

Still Soul Searching

Ok, I think I suck at this whole Serious Soul Searching thing.  I’ve been thinking about it this whole past week and I haven’t come up with much.  I think I need a “for Dummies” book on it cuz I just don’t know where to start.  

The first thing I’m supposed to be figuring out is what kind of a tree I am or what is my place and function.  If we stick with the tree analogy I think I’m an Aspen.  I’m flexible and strong so I’m not easily broken.  I’m good for work but also for relaxing and enjoying the breeze.  I like thinking about the Aspen tree but what good is that really?  Hmmmm, none!

So moving on, you can find anything online right? so why not the answer to this?  So I google “what is my place in life?”  One thing asks What do you want to be when you grow up? but that’s really no help. In my personal life I always wanted to find someone to love, who would love me. My husband and I celebrate our 29th anniversary at the end of this week so I’ve succeeded in having the loving relationship that I really wanted to find.  We weren’t able to have children but that’s never really bothered me.  

Professionally, I never had a burning passion to be… well, anything really. Weirdly enough I do have a strong interest in early childhood development but that’s more of an interest in the scientific process of brain development and not so much an interest in children themselves. I’ve never pursued a career in that because without a Masters degree the job prospects kind of suck and I’m not ever going to have a degree, certainly not a Masters.  

Another site in my google search approaches the question from a different angle, “Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.  Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.  The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.    
In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body.”
Finding Your Place, Todd Bailey

The good Reverend Bailey says that he believes that we are here on earth to fulfill God’s purposes. I also believe essentially that same thing. For example, I think if we would all do just a little to help each other out when we are able to, this world would be a much better place to live. I think that is fulfilling God’s purpose on earth. Many people are always saying that God should do this or stop that but what if WE were put here by God to help others and our helping would do this and stop that. The problem there being that we aren’t holding up our end of the work.  

This gives me a different perspective on this whole “finding my place & purpose” thing.  I feel that it ties into the Tao very well tho.  The Tao is very spiritual and about natural laws and getting in touch with our inner spirit. Actually if I found this leading me away from God I would stop immediately.  I currently don’t go to church and such but I do consider myself to be spiritual.  I absolutely believe in God and I think bringing Him into this is maybe what I need to do at this point.  

I’ve been looking at it in a very small, selfish, temporal way.  Should I be working here or there?  Doing this or that?  Is my purpose to help students at the U or to help the poor at the Housing Authority?  When really perhaps the question is much larger, more abstract than that.  I’m going to take a few days to pray and ponder to see what kind of answers or promptings I get.  I’ll be back - (said in my best gruff Terminator voice.)

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