Tracking my initial goals real quick
- Finding an animal related organization that I can volunteer with.
I did a search online for animal rescue groups in my area. The Humane Society only needs volunteers during regular business hours and I work full time so I’m afraid that’s out. The other big rescue group only advertises volunteering in the big city I live near. It’s about 30-40 min away so it would be hard to go that far and volunteer for a couple of hours in the evening. I filled out an info request and I’m waiting to hear back. Hopeful that if they don’t have a group here in my area they can suggest someone who does. If not maybe I need to start one.
- Getting a good handle on diabetes. Track it better! Eat better!
Just yesterday I started a Sparkpeople Diabetes Control Challenge. I think it should help me get focused and stay on course. I am doing better at tracking and taking my meds. Pretty good at eating but a girl brought donuts to work today and I had one. Gah!! Damn the donuts and their delicious sprinkles.
I’ve been thinking a lot about these goals and limitations. A big part of this is not trying to force things and letting my true nature come out. I don’t feel like any of the limitations that I wrote down last time are anything that I can work with or anything that could turn out to be a strength. Mostly they are things that I need to stop doing so am I looking at this all wrong? By trying to stop doing these things am I fighting against my true nature? But if I don’t stop these things; no follow thru, procrastination and lack of impulse control - how am I ever going to improve and grow as a person? But maybe these things are fundamental faults and not limitations. I’m really confused and I feel like I’m doing this part wrong. I wonder what the definition of each word is.
Limitation - something that limits one's freedom of action or choice - condition, restraint
Fault - a defect in character - shortcoming, weakness
Ok, so yes, the main points that I listed last time are faults and not limitations. Limitations are things that limit my freedom of action or choice. What things limit my choices? My inability to function in the morning for sure. Being bad at math limits my choices to some extent. My fitness level is poor; I can’t run very far at all. I can’t be out in the heat for very long or I get quite sick.
So I’m off to Google - What are my limitations in life? The first thing I click on is Quotes about limitations. Most of them are nonsense but this one is good
“Your limitations are largely programming instilled by others that you choose to believe.”
Hmmmm, instilled by others? What would those be?
“Effort within the mind further limits the mind, because effort implies struggle towards a goal and when you have a goal, a purpose, an end in view, you have placed a limit on the mind.”
This confuses me more. How can I identify and try to work with my limitations without effort within the mind? I can’t have goals? If not then what? And who’s this Jeet Kune Do?
“Great sex is all about freedom and being everything you’ve always wanted to be. Know now that the only limits you have in regards to your own sexuality are the ones you impose on yourself.”
This one makes more sense to me. I can relate to it. When I was young I was super self conscious about how I looked naked, even tho I looked great! I thought I was fat so during sex I was always aware of how was he seeing me, what position was I in, how much light was there, how well can he see me? It was distracting and didn’t allow me to enjoy sex as much as I should have.
It wasn’t until after about 15 years of marriage that I finally got comfortable with myself, my body and who I am that I could be naked with my husband in full light. FIFTEEN YEARS!!!! I let go of the limitations that I had put on myself and my sexualtiy and allowed myself to just relax and enjoy. I was only able to let go when I accepted myself. So how does that translate to my other limitations? I’m not sure.
A lot of sites talking about limitations are discussing physical limitations after surgery or illness. One woman says that after her surgery she was pushing herself to continue doing all that she had been doing before surgery and she just wasn’t able to keep up. When she accepted that she wasn’t able to do everything she had done before and started working within those limitations she started healing quicker and feeling more energy.
So if I look at this from that angle combined with ‘things that limit my choices’? No surgery but just life in general -
- If I don’t stay busy in the evening I just want to sleep.
- I am grumpy and groggy in the morning till about 11am.
- I have a hard time going to bed before midnight.
- My fitness level is poor; I can’t run very far at all.
- I can’t be out in the heat for very long or I get quite sick.
- I need down time to be by myself - over socializing makes me bitchy
- I have diabetes so I must be careful of what I eat.
- I don’t have a lot of money so I be careful of what I spend.
That makes a lot more sense to me now. These are the only things that come easily to mind but I’d say it’s enough to start. So I should relax and accept that I have diabetes and cannot eat whatever I want. I’m not rich and cannot spend whatever I want. Etc, etc, etc. I’ve never journaled before but this writing things down really helps me work thru my thoughts in a way that I can’t do when just randomly thinking. Talking about it would most likely be effective too but no one is going to want to talk to me about this stuff. Maybe a counselor but “I am not rich and cannot spend whatever I want”. Anyone else would be bored out of their mind and beat me to death just to get me to shut it, so that’s not a good option. I’ll stick with the blog/journal thing.
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